Tainted Love
by bikky2021
Summary: Yaoi SoraRiku, Somthing is wrong.. Where is Riku? Why wont they answer? Sora soon learns the dark secret Riku has hidden from everyone. All the abuse, all the pain. Riku has to leave, can Sora save him? What is Riku scared of more his stepdad or himself?
1. Hidden pain

Warning: THIS FIC DEALS WITH SENSITVE SUBJECTS. IF YOU ARE IN ONE OF THESE SITUATIONS, DONT LET THE CHARACTERS DECISIONS AFFECT YOURS. SEEK HELP. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THE TOPIC OF ABUSE, AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, THEN DONT READ THIS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.  
  
Hi ppls, I'm baaaaaaaaaack... I know, Im so horrible for not updating loop holes or cherryblossom yet, but I do plan to. Right now though, I'm trying to write somthing other then fluff, so this one is FULL of angst. If your not comfortable with the topics, then dont read it, or bitch about it (At least not to me..)  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own kingdom hearts, if I did there would be no need for yaoi fics (cuz it would all be there......)  
  
Tainted Love: chapt 1  
  
***************  
  
  
  
No one knows me. At least I know they don't.. They may think they do, little do they know though.. Riku rolled over on his bed, trying to muffle the sound of yelling and crying coming from the other room.   
  
"QUIET BITCH, DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK?!"  
  
"Please stop, I'm sorry, please, I'm begging you... PLEASE!!"   
  
The sound of skin being smacked could be heard even in Riku's room. Riku bit down on his lip. He hated his stepdad, absolutly HATED him. It hurt so much hearing the pain in his mother's voice, but it hurt even more not being able to do anything about it. Believe me, he tried to stop him before, but his stepdad was just to strong.. Last time he tried to stop him, he ended with bruises covering his face and abdomen, and a broken rib. Of course he wanted to tell someone. God, did he want to tell someone. But it's not like anything could be done. It sucks having an abusive stepdad, but it sucks even more having one that has authority over the city. Stupid ass mayor..  
  
Riku knew that no one would believe him. Everyone sees the nice, jolly side which he rarly shows at home. Scratch that, NEVER shows at home.  
  
"BITCH, IF YOU MOVE I WILL KILL YOU, AND YOUR DAMN SON! WANT TO DIE?! HUH, WHORE?!  
  
"NO!! NOT RIKU! HE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!"  
  
Riku bit down on his lip harder. The tears trickled down his cheeks. Riku knew he wouldnt kill him.. If he did, then he couldnt really threaten his mom.. right.. right?! Riku heard the screaming coming closer.. Nervously, he glanced around the room, looking for some form of anything that he could use to defend himself. He dug through his desk, looking for anything, anything would do... The shimmer of a blade caught his eye.   
  
Found it!  
  
The razor he kept stashed in there. He never used it on any one else, but himself.. Riku stared down at his wrist. Still there..   
  
"Thank God I have pale skin..." He whispered softly to himself. He could point out the scars, all four of them. Each atempt to end it all, each time... failed. There was only one reason he quit, only one reason he tried to hold on to what little life he had left...  
  
Sora.  
  
"I refuse to die before he knows how I feel.." He murmered softly. The energetic brunnette always found a way into his heart, no matter the situation. Ever since they were children, he always knew how to cheer him up. He couldnt help but love him. Sora was the only thing which he held dear to his heart, the only person that gave him hope for the future. The only person keeping him alive..  
  
He jumped to the sound of a crash and glass breaking outside of his door. Please don't come in, please make it stop..   
  
His door flung open.  
  
There he stood. The one person he wanted dead. The one person he wanted gone the most..  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! Riku looked up at him. He could smell the cheap whiskey on his breath.   
  
"I'm trying to sleep." Riku replied, tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"QUIET FAG, DID I ASK YOU TO TALK?!"  
  
"No sir.. I'm sorry.."  
  
"THATS RIGHT FAG! NOW GET OVER HERE!"   
  
Riku trembled and slowly walked over to his stepdad, trying not to cry, or show any signs of weakness. He pulled back his arm and punched Riku right in the jaw, a small popping noise soon followed. Riku fell to the floor shaking, and went limp from fear and the pain. He failed to the sound of his mom screaming, "NOOOO!!!"  
  
Ah.. Darkness..  
  
Peacefull, quiet, darkness..  
  
Where the sceaming was elliminated in silence..  
  
______________  
  
Sora ran around the island calling Riku's name. No luck. Where was he? It's getting dark and he hasn't come out for nearly a week. Sora could'nt help but worry. His best friend is missing.   
  
"Where could he be?" He thought puzzled.   
  
No one at Riku's house would answer, no one even came to the door all six times Sora went looking for him. There werent any reasons for avoiding Sora. Sora had numered down practicly every reason for Riku to avoid him, and there was nothing left. If he was sick then would'nt they of answered? Would'nt they want me to come cheer Riku up? Wouldn't they?!   
  
"I could always sneak in... It woudnt hurt anyone.. If I get caught, what are they going to do? Yell at me? So what? If Theres still no word from him by tomorrow, I'm going.. Maybe I'll go over there tonight.."   
  
He continued to walk around until he came to a dock with a little boat tied to the side. Sora could'nt help but smile. It just reminded him of all the good times he had with Riku. Rowing out to the other small islands which surrounded Destiny Island, talking about anything on thier minds, at least Sora thought.  
  
He knew Riku never liked his stepdad. Even though he seemed like a pretty nice guy. But he did trust Riku's judgment and tried to keep away from him. He could see the hatred in Riku's eyes whenever his stepdad came around, especially when he came near Sora.   
  
Sora shrugged and called out Riku's name one last time. Once again, no answer. He peared down at his watch and glimpsed the time. 8:57pm.   
  
"Aww, shit." Sora exclaimed. He was supposed to be at home at 9:00pm. He started jogging, slowly increasing his speed. He turned the corner which lead to his neighborhood, and slowed down when he reached Riku's house. He peared over the gate catiously, and climbed over.   
  
"I'm already screwed enough, so whats the use trying to get home on time, besides, maybe Mom is out." He said to himself while running closer to the side of the house which Riku's room was located.  
  
Sora reached the wall, and peared up. Why did Riku's room have to be upstairs? He looked around for anything to use to climb up to the window. No luck. Hmmm... Sora glanced over to where Riku's shed was located. Quietly, he tiptoed to the shed and opened the rusty door. The door opened with a creak and Sora stepped in.   
  
All over the walls were gardening tools, he looked over to the left corner, damn it, like a shovel would help. He took a step near the back and peered under a cabinet. AHAH! There was a ladder laying there. Sora looked back behind him, slowly and made sure no one heard him. He bent over and lifted the ladder up gently and stumbled a bit due to the weight, out the door. Reaching the wall, he propped the ladder against it. He stepped on the lowest step and started making his way up. A few seconds passed before he made it to the top. He made sure he was balanced and lifted the window up. It slid up effortlessly, and he climbed in. Sora stared. Shattered glass was everywhere, along with..   
  
"Is that... blood?!"  
  
Sora stepped around the room, trying to avoid the glass. "What the fuck happened here?" Sora whispered franticly. Sora reached the desk, which had all of the drawers have been yanked out. Sora found a notebook and peared inside.  
  
It read:  
  
August 28: I hate my life so much. I wish I would just die already! I can't take all the fighting anymore! Hiding everything from friends. I feel horrible for hiding stuff from Sora. But that won't matter much longer. It will all be over soon. Heaven or hell, I don't care, just anywhere but here.  
  
September 18: I slit my wrists today. I just don't care anymore. Maybe the pain will flow with the blood, clense me, wash all away. It's not the first time I have done this. The physical pain distracts me from the pain which stays with me inside. Of course, another failed attempt to die once again. I only fainted, for God knows how long, before the wound started to close. Maybe my time will come soon.  
  
Sora started to tremble. This can't be Riku's, it just can't be! As much as he wanted to stop reading, quit the images from flowing through his mind, he just couldn't. He continued on..  
  
September 29: Constant agueing, constant threats, when will it end? Will it EVER end?! I want out.. I NEED out. I just can't take this anymore. My so called stepdad pushed me down the stairs today. My left arm is definantly broken. I have already bandaged it up. I'm just going to tell every one I fell. I'm pretty sure no one will question that. Hopefully Sora won't see the pain in my eyes. I can't risk anyone knowing. Maybe I wont have to wait for death.. maybe my stepdad will finish the job...  
  
At that Sora threw down the diary. "No more.." He started to whisper. "Please God, NO MORE!" Sora almost fell to the ground from the pain he just read. He caught himself before with only one thing on his mind:  
  
Riku...  
  
Where was he?! Is he ok??? Sora caught his balance, and slowly started to walk near the door. He opened it and heard someone, crying quietly.  
  
"Riku?? Is That you?!" Sora called down the hallway. No response. Sora started to run down the hallway, following the sobs. There was a woman, cradling..  
  
"RIKU!" Sora cried. The woman looked up surprised. "He.. Hello Sora.." She choked through tears. Sora looked down at Riku, and lifted his wrist, feeling for a pulse. There was a small, faint beating of the pulse, he was still alive!  
  
"Wh.. What happened?!" Sora said, trying to sound calm through the tears.   
  
  
  
"Tatsuki.. he.. Oh God.." She cried.  
  
"What did he do to Riku?!"   
  
"Please Sora, no time to explain.. Here, take Riku out of here. HURRY!! Before Tatsuki wakes up!"  
  
Sora took hold of Riku, holding him gently in his arms.  
  
"Take the back door out, hes passed out on the floor near the couch, please.. take care of him.. And no matter what, don't let him come back. Tatsuki CAN'T know where Riku is..." Sora nodded, the woman stood up and hugged Sora.  
  
"But what about you? Come with me." Sora pleaded.  
  
"No, I can't, he'd go insane.. just take care of Riku."  
  
"Are you crazy?! COME ON!!" Sora yelled, confused and angry.  
  
"No, just go.."  
  
Sora looked back at the woman, bruised and sore, and ran downstairs.  
  
************  
  
Well ppls, whadduya think so far? If you like it so far, please review meh. Hopefully, I will be updating this one MUCH MORE then the others. I actually have half of the next chapter for Loop Holes typed up. A lot has happened since I last posted, I went to Delaware, I'm now single *ques Austin Powers music* ah, you get the point.. ^-^ Hope to hear from you guys. Ba byes for now~ 


	2. No more tears

Hi ppls, im updating, yay. Thanx for all of your reviews, keep 'em coming! Im glad so far i don't have ppl pissed off about the story topic(s). That was one of the reasons I was a bit worried to post it. Well, hope you enyjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: Im too poor and unoriginal to create Kingdom Hearts... *sobs*  
  
Tainted Love, chapt 2: No more Tears  
  
*****************************************  
  
Sora ran as fast as he could out of there. He soon reached the living room, and looked over by the couch. Oh, words couldn't describe how much he wanted to kill Tatsuki. He layed there surrounded in bottles of beer on his back. Sora glared over at him, but continued on out the door.  
  
He turned the brass knob, managing not to drop Riku, who started to shake a little in Sora's arms.   
  
"It's ok Riku, I got you." Sora murmered trying to reasure Riku and himself.   
  
It was pure black outside. Darkness surrounded the stars, and clouds covered the moon. The only light there really was came from the street lights. Sora continued on, running as fast as he could while holding onto Riku. I fucking hate them.. He kept saying to himself. Why the fuck would anyone ever do this? Especially to Riku.. And why the hell would he keep it to himself?! Why? WHY?! But Sora always knew that Riku tended to keep to himself, especially about his problems. He never seemed to wan't to worry other about his own issues, but this is so different.  
  
"Sick bastard, I WILL kill him." Sora promised to himself.   
  
Sora turned a right at the corner he came to and ran up the walkway. He reached the door, and was about to open it until he saw a note stuck on it. Sora rolled his eyes. She choses to go on bussiness trips at the worse times..   
  
The note read:  
  
Sora,  
  
I forgot that I was supposed to go to New York today. I'm so sorry. I managed to stock up on grocerys and I left some money on the table. If you need me, you know my cell number. I'll be back in a week or so. Don't get into anything stupid. Love you.  
  
Mom  
  
"To late.." Sora muttered, as he read through getting involved. Oh well, this wasn't stupid, this was his best friend, and like hell ANYONE was to touch him, especially his bastard stepdad. He opened the door and walked up stairs to his room. Thank God I'm finally here, he was starting to get heavy.. Sora bent down and placed Riku as gently on his bed as possible. Riku's lip quivered a little, and he shook a bit, but stopped. Sora looked down at his friend, confused and angry.  
  
"I guess the best thing now would to bandage him up, and change him out of those clothes.."   
  
Sora ran to the bathroom, and opened the medicine cabinent. Vitamins, tweezers, deoderent, ah theres some gauze. He reached in and looked around some more and found an ace bandage and some bandages. He grabbed it all in his arms and went back to the room. He placed the stuff on his night stand table, and looked at Riku. I'm going to have to wash away the blood.. He ran back once again, and turned on the faucet and reached for a wash cloth and towel. Sora placed the wash cloth under the faucet and wrung it out, and raced back to his room.   
  
Riku started to shake a little more and then stopped.   
  
"Poor guy.." Sora mumered as he gently tried to take off his shirt. Argh, not working. The shirt wouldn't come off without a fight and Sora was too scared to hurt his friend. He glanced over to his nightstand table, and with his hands, found the scissors. He started clipping away at the front, pulling away at the fabric as gently as possible, revealing his chest. Sora was horrified at what he saw.  
  
Bruises covered him. There was not an inch of skin that wasn't swollen or bruised. Dried blood was starting to flake in specks all over his wounds. Sora was almost too scared to touch him due to all of the injurys. He picked up the wash cloth and as gently as possible started to run it over the blood. Riku flinched as Sora started wiping softly at the wounds. Most of them managed to close up, but some of them revealed raw skin and blood still trickling out slowly. Sora started to feel sick. Never had he seen anyone in such a condition! But he snapped out of it, determined to cover the injurys.  
  
He reached over for the bandages, and started. He didn't have to cover many of the small cuts, only the ones still opened. He reached back over for the wash cloth to wipe away more blood. He realized there was more blood then before, and noticed the big gash in the center of his chest. Fuck, it would probably take stitches for this to close. Sora didn't exactly trust himself with a needle and thread, so he opened up the package of gauze and began wrapping it around his chest. Sora managed to use up almost half of the roll just on that one wound.   
  
"Maybe it will stop bleeding sooner if I wraped his chest with the ace bandage, it would add a bit more pressure.."  
  
Sora once again started. Wrapping Riku as quickly and gently as possible. He pulled a safty pin from his nightstand and clipped the bandage together. Sora was rather proud of his work, but knew there would be more to do. He up and down Riku's arms and couldn't help but cry.   
  
Scars...  
  
Everywhere...  
  
They covered his wrist. Across the vein. Four of them, bigger and more noticeable then the rest, but there were more.   
  
"Riku..... why... WHY?!" Sora clutched Riku's hand and held it to his face. His tears rolled onto his hands.   
  
Never in Sora's life had he thought this would ever happen, not to Riku and not to well .. anyone. It just hurt him so much to see this happen to someone he well, has known his whole life. Some one so dear to his heart... Sora looked down at Riku and clutched his hand closer to his chest.  
  
"WHY GOD?! WHY THE HELL WHY?!" Sora yelled as loud as he could. He didn't know who to blame, but God could of prevented this, he has the power to make it stop.. right? RIGHT?!  
  
"Pl... Please, don't cry.." Sora looked up at Riku, who's eyes were squinted open.   
  
"R.. Riku... Your up.." Sora manage to get out through tears.   
  
"No more tears, please Sora?" Riku begged. Sora wipped his eyes on his sleeve.   
  
"I just can't help it Riku.. since when did this start?!"  
  
"Since they got married.. Don't worry about it, I'm fine." Sora stared at his friend in total disbelief.  
  
"Do you think that I'm fucking crazy?! Quit lying to me!"  
  
"I'm sorry Sora, I didn't want to upset you, Please don't cry.. I can't take anymore pain not from me and definantly not from you!" Riku started to sob quietly and Sora's expression softened a bit.   
  
"But Riku, why didn't you tell me? I would of done somthing to of---  
  
"DONE WHAT, SORA? If I can't help even myself, then what could you of done? There's no easy solution, in fact, I'm convinced there is NO solution!"  
  
"Riku, if you werent so hurt, I would slap you."   
  
Riku was taken aback by that.  
  
"Why not?! Not like I'm not enough! Surely, you too!"  
  
Sora stared at his friend.  
  
"No Riku."  
  
"But you just said you wanted to, so don't wuss out now, C'MON!"  
  
Sora pulled back his arm and brought it so close to Riku's cheek, causing Riku to wince slightly, the fear in his eyes... Sora pulled down his arm, and tears started rolling down his cheeks.   
  
"Sora?"  
  
Sora fell next to Riku on the bed, and sobbed quietly into his chest.   
  
"What Sora? Please quit it.. it hurts to see you like this.."  
  
Sora looked up at Riku's face in total disbelief. Hurts to see ME like this? What about him? Does he not know that this is about him??   
  
"You say that like it doesn't hurt me to see you like this. You can't hide it from me, Riku. I can see the pain in your eyes. For once, just accept help." Sora pleaded through more tears.  
  
"I want to Sora, but I just cant.. Sure Im no longer there, but what happens when he comes for me? What then? Like hell I'm going to allow you to get hurt Sora. Riku clutched onto Sora's hands tightly. "Like hell."  
  
"And thats your problem Riku! You care too much about others and not enough about yourself!"  
  
"No Sora, thats not true..."  
  
"Then what is???"  
  
Riku took a deep breath.  
  
"Only when your involved.." Riku paused and Sora looked at Riku, who murmered softly,   
  
"Only you.."  
  
**********************  
  
Um yeh, so ends chapter 2. Im so incredibly sorry for waiting so long to update, but alot of issues have occured with me. But the issues r over and has been settled and no one was hurt. So anyways, I hope u guys liked the 2nd chapter, hell, I hope u like it all so far, and don't forget to review. C'mon, u know u want to.... ^-^ until next chapter, ba byes~ 


	3. Haunting call

Hi ppls. Im so freakin bored its not even funny. hits laughing fangirl with brick Anywayz, I just read some really good yyh yaoi fanfiction, almost started crying (not on fanfiction.net though) So, my mind is kinda still set on Kurama and Hiei leaving each other, so dont expect this to be the happiest chapter..  
  
Tainted Love, chapt 3  
  
Silence...  
  
Never had Riku could have ever imagined the pain which silence could bring. Not knowing what the other was thinking, not knowing what they were going to do, how was Sora to respond? Riku could feel a part of him melt off with the time the immense silence stole. He felt Sora get up from his side. No! Was he leaving?! Please God, no..  
  
"Well, is that it? Is there nothing more to this Sora? I need something Sora, I want to kn--" Sora turned to look at Riku, who trailed off.  
  
The sound of a shutting door..  
  
Sora closed the door, and walked out of the room. All he could think about was, All my fault. He would care more about himself if it wasnt for me. He even said it himself. Only me.. Maybe this wouldn't of happened if I wasn't here. Maybe he would have stuck up for himself if I didn't haunt his mind... Sora sat on the stairs, holding his knees to his chest. He bit his lip, trying to supress his emotions, forcing the tears back.  
  
Riku didn't understand the pain it caused Sora, the horrible pain when your friend puts everything, everyone, especially you, over themselves. Even although Sora wouldn't admit that he would give his life for Riku, hell, he would give everyone and everything up as long as Riku lived on... But it just hurt so much to see it, especially from someone more in need then you have ever been in, in your entire existance.  
  
"I can't hide from it though." Sora decided. Sora got up and went up the stairs back into his room. He took in a deep breath and walked in.   
  
Riku didn't notice Sora as he re-entered the room. He just lay there on his side, sobbing. This pain.. This is worse then any other pain. I'd rather have my stepdad beat me then this! At least the physical pain would take away from the emotional. All this time. The one person that kept me through this.. The one person that I thought would care...  
  
"Riku?"  
  
Riku jumped slightly, and quickly wipped away at his tears with his arm.  
  
"I'm sorry for leaving."  
  
"But, why did you leave? You have no idea how horrible I felt when I heard the door shut." Sora sat down, once again, by Riku's side.  
  
"It just hurts Riku, It hurts alot, seeing you like this. You don't seem to realize that you are important. You need to care for yourself just as much as you care for me, if not more.. just the thought of you not fighting because of me.."  
  
"What the hell gave you that idea? I fought, Sora. I fought because of you.. Not only for you, but for me to see you again, for things to be like they were, if not better."   
  
"Riku, thanks, it means alot to me that--  
  
The phone blaring its ring startled the two boys causing Sora to slightly jump.   
  
"I'll be right back Riku."  
  
Sora got up and ran out of the room, almost tripping over his feet while going down the stairs.  
  
He raced into the kitchen and looked at the caller i.d. The name didn't show up. Sora shugged and picked it up anyways.  
  
"'ello?" Sora asked waiting for a response.  
  
"Sora?"  
  
That voice... Sora knew that voice, and it haunted him to no end to hear it.  
  
"Tatsuki?" Sora clenched his fists from the rage, trying not to hint of it in his voice, but he didn't want nothing more then to slit the man's throat.  
  
"Ya, I was wondering, have you seen Riku? He has been missing for a day or so now and I can't think of anyone else besides you that would know where he is."  
  
Sora's fists got tighter. His knuckles turned white from the pressure of the anger balled up in his fists.  
  
"Nope, not a clue, I have actually been wondering myself why he hasn't been around."  
  
"Oh..." Tatsuki's voice trailed off and he let out a drunken hiccup.  
  
"Maybe Kairi would know, have you tried her yet?" Sora didn't mind giving forth Kairi's name at the time. He knew that as long as she was clueless to the situation she couldn't accidentally squeal about the where abouts of Riku.  
  
"Naa, I haven't I'll call her up--  
  
"Good, you do that." Sora cut in trying to get off the phone as soon as possible.  
  
"SOOOOORA?? Who's on the phone??" Riku called from upstairs curiously .  
  
OH FUCK! Riku chose the worst possible time to talk....  
  
"Who was that? Is that Riku???" Tatsuki asked releasing another hiccup.  
  
"No, thats my cousin... Nick, he's visiting from up north.. Well, I got to go, hope to hear about Riku's where abouts soon, call me once you get any information! Bye!!"  
  
Click.   
  
Sora hung up the phone before Tatsuki could even response. He wipped his brow, and put down the phone and pulled the plug out of the wall in case Tatsuki were to call again. Sora stood, back against the wall, and let himself slowly slide down to the floor to a sitting position. What was he to do if Tatsuki came over? What would he tell Riku? He didn't want to lie to Riku but he didn't want to worry him either.. If Tatsuki were to come over.. well, Riku would definantly be hidden, but if he were to find him.. Sora tensed up and nerves caused a naseating pain in his stomach. He sat up and ran to the bathroom as fast as he could. He slammed the door open and ran to the toilet seat and let his stomach contents release itself into the toilet. He gagged and spat until there was nothing left. Slowly, he stood up and wipped his mouth on his sleeve.  
  
Sora turned to the doorway, where Riku stood.   
  
"Are you ok? What happened Sora?"  
  
"Nothing Riku, my stomach is just alittle queasy, I'm fine though."  
  
"Ok Sora.." Riku replied doubtfully. "Who called?"  
  
Silence....  
  
"Uh, My Mom.." Sora looked down to the floor avoiding Riku's gaze. Yeah.. my Mom...  
  
So ends chapter 3 (finnally!) I have been workin on this chapter for a loooong ass time now, as u might of noticed... ehehehee... '.'; man, im nervous at the time. my school sux and i am suspended and might be expelled! but at the time i have so much caffiene in my system i dont really care!! kicks empty soda bottles that litter the ground weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! well, hope to see your beautiful reviews soon! ba byes for now 


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